8 ways to be a better parent

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Kids push buttons and boy do they know how to push the right ones, there are days when i say to myself wow Bianca you have got it going on today no ones yelling at each other the kids are playing nicely -very rare thing in my house, to me if the kids are fed and bathed before 6pm that’s a job well done for me.

However there is a part of me that feels like i could do better, don’t we all think we could do better at something we already do? I lay in bed thinking to myself as my partner snores away like a chaff cutter – did i do enough today? did i play enough with my kids? did i listen to my almost 4 yr old who asks me 1 million questions a day? why did i get so angry when i asked miss T to not do that for the 100th time. Was doing the laundry or cleaning the bathroom more important?

I try and improve myself everyday to strive to be the best parent and wife i can be, I’m learning to try and not get so impatient and angry when things don’t go to plan. I’m learning to be with my kids more and stop worrying about how clean the house is.

So here are my 8 ways to be a better parent which is still a learning progress but I’m hopeful it will pay off in the end.

  1. Take an adult time out- Kind of like a kiddie time out but for yourself, take just 10 minutes to sit in a quite place and breathe – or eat a block of chocolate my go to choice.
  2. Put the phone away- I find myself some days glued to my phone, I’m learning to put it away when I’m not needing it, i used to sit on it and Miss T would come and ask me a question to do something and i would find myself ignoring her because i was busy. We are so attached to technology these days that we don’t realize we are actually doing it.
  3. Pick your battles- My almost 4 year old is the most independent little boss getting around from going to the fridge and getting the milk out to even putting her dinner in the microwave; she always wants to do it. It sometimes becomes a battle when I want to do something to get it done quickly – to when she wants to do it and ten years go by…. I’m learning to pick my battle and just let her do it because she is learning she is independent and I want her to know that.
  4. Don’t threaten without consequences- How many times a day do you find yourself saying if you don’t stop that I’ll….I used to use this line on Miss T like it was going out of fashion, I found myself not getting anywhere because she knew I wouldn’t go ahead with my threat.My approach now is if you don’t stop doing that I will take that toy away and you can have it back when you are going to listen to mummy. I go ahead and take that toy I actually have a bike sitting on my walk in robe shelf because she didn’t listen to me. At first this was a shit show and she kicked and screamed even tried climbing my shelves to get it. Then she started realizing that I was serious and apologized.
  5. Have a snuggle party-The best thing I love to do is cuddle my kids. I find my little G man is a snuggle pot more than his big sis but she still enjoys the ole cuddle from Mumma. It does them and you so good and releases that warm fuzzy happy feeling.
  6. Always say your proud- A big thing in my house is always praising for a job well done- even if it’s something so small like picking up some rubbish I always tell miss T she did a fantastic job and I’m so proud she did it.
  7. If you don’t laugh you will cry-Laugh at those fake tears and tantrums because if your having a really shitty day and all you wanna do is cry and scream, just start laughing you might get stared at or yelled at “it’s not funny mum you made me sad” It’s just a shitty day not a shitty life.
  8. Let it go- “Let it go, let it go anyone else sing frozen then ha ha only me? Ok. I have come to terms with the fact that sometimes my house will be mess and I will have things hanging from my fan, and split milk and cocoa pops everywhere, the baby is still in clothes he had on from two days ago because I honestly couldn’t be fucked getting him dressed or bathed, my daughters hair looks like she has a bird living in it because it’s a shit show trying to brush it everyday let alone wash it. I have last nights dishes in the sink because I was to darn tired to do them- it’s ok to let things go and I find it so hard sometimes to do that it’s such a hard thing to learn but I would choose to have time with my kids and to have them be happy any day.

So what do you think of my approach to better parenting, may not be everyone’s cup of coffee but I’m trying. let me know in the comments below what worked/works well for you guys i would love to hear your parenting wins!

B.

10 things i wish i knew before having kids.

Lets be honest, parenting is such a wonderful blessing i wish i could have 100 babies, my husband would probably kill me, but we all cant resist the new baby smell and their tiny fingers and toes and those adorable little noises they make.My husband and i are completely done having children we are so happy with our perfect pigeon pair, i applaud those mum’s who go back for more than two children you are super mum’s.

However i really wish someone sat me down before having my first and actually told me the in’s and out’s and the true hardcore reality of having children.Having a baby is hard work actually all stages of motherhood are hard.

So here are some of the 10 things i wish i knew before having kids.

  1. Babies are EXTREMELY loud sleepers- all those cute little noises they make are 10 times louder at night when they are right beside you.
  2. Be prepared to be living on little to no sleep- yeah your probably thinking babies sleep all the time what is she on about, your little munchkin needs to refuel his or her tum tum over night approximately every 2-3 hrs for round a bout 1hour give or take depending on how quick a drinker your little one is. You would be surprised how quickly your body adapts to the no sleep thing.
  3. Breastfeeding pads are a must! those things are a god send you do not want to be changing your bed sheets and clothes in the middle of the night from your leaky boobs. FYI- have been there and done that!
  4. Hormonal changes, when you think all your hormones are done and gone you have had your baby everything is great. Day 3 hits you ( baby blue day) you will probably find yourself crying over an episode of pepper pig. Its totally normal your hormones are all leveling out and lets just say your mind is mush.
  5. Baby brain is an actual thing!
  6. Teething is a bitch, when those poor little babes start to teeth its horrible.
  7. Toilet training – need i say more,  you will be cleaning poop and pee to the cows come home.
  8. Do not compare children, even siblings if John is walking and Mary isn’t its o.k all babies develop differently.
  9. Mothers instinct, is amazing.
  10. Unconditional love, until you have had children. Yes of course you love your partner and family but nothing can ever prepare you for the love you will have for your children its emotional, unexplained , exhausting and real.

B.

I’m back at work.

My first day back at work after having G, was painful.

I cried, like literally Kim Kardashian ugly face crying when i was dropping him off. I was trying to tell the educator how his routine went and i couldn’t help but sob. Bv-BiArIAAAt_3C

I made it into work, and not long after a got a message from his educator saying everything was fine, and he was doing great. I got all my paperwork done in between having about 5 coffee’s because i was struggling to stay awake, not being used to having the computer in my face and paperwork all around me, i found myself sinking into and getting it done.

I thought about G and T all day, could not get them out of my head. I even found myself sharing photos with my colleagues to try and pass the time till i picked them up. I had lunch at home and it was so quite,but at least i got to eat my sandwich at home without sharing with a 3 year old.

I guess you could say i did have a good first day back after having 7 months off. It felt good to have some adult interaction and some time to myself. With the mum guilt still in my head i felt as though i have made a good choice. I mean it is only two days per week.

B.