Kids push buttons and boy do they know how to push the right ones, there are days when i say to myself wow Bianca you have got it going on today no ones yelling at each other the kids are playing nicely -very rare thing in my house, to me if the kids are fed and bathed before 6pm that’s a job well done for me.
However there is a part of me that feels like i could do better, don’t we all think we could do better at something we already do? I lay in bed thinking to myself as my partner snores away like a chaff cutter – did i do enough today? did i play enough with my kids? did i listen to my almost 4 yr old who asks me 1 million questions a day? why did i get so angry when i asked miss T to not do that for the 100th time. Was doing the laundry or cleaning the bathroom more important?
I try and improve myself everyday to strive to be the best parent and wife i can be, I’m learning to try and not get so impatient and angry when things don’t go to plan. I’m learning to be with my kids more and stop worrying about how clean the house is.
So here are my 8 ways to be a better parent which is still a learning progress but I’m hopeful it will pay off in the end.
- Take an adult time out- Kind of like a kiddie time out but for yourself, take just 10 minutes to sit in a quite place and breathe – or eat a block of chocolate my go to choice.
- Put the phone away- I find myself some days glued to my phone, I’m learning to put it away when I’m not needing it, i used to sit on it and Miss T would come and ask me a question to do something and i would find myself ignoring her because i was busy. We are so attached to technology these days that we don’t realize we are actually doing it.
- Pick your battles- My almost 4 year old is the most independent little boss getting around from going to the fridge and getting the milk out to even putting her dinner in the microwave; she always wants to do it. It sometimes becomes a battle when I want to do something to get it done quickly – to when she wants to do it and ten years go by…. I’m learning to pick my battle and just let her do it because she is learning she is independent and I want her to know that.
- Don’t threaten without consequences- How many times a day do you find yourself saying if you don’t stop that I’ll….I used to use this line on Miss T like it was going out of fashion, I found myself not getting anywhere because she knew I wouldn’t go ahead with my threat.My approach now is if you don’t stop doing that I will take that toy away and you can have it back when you are going to listen to mummy. I go ahead and take that toy I actually have a bike sitting on my walk in robe shelf because she didn’t listen to me. At first this was a shit show and she kicked and screamed even tried climbing my shelves to get it. Then she started realizing that I was serious and apologized.
- Have a snuggle party-The best thing I love to do is cuddle my kids. I find my little G man is a snuggle pot more than his big sis but she still enjoys the ole cuddle from Mumma. It does them and you so good and releases that warm fuzzy happy feeling.
- Always say your proud- A big thing in my house is always praising for a job well done- even if it’s something so small like picking up some rubbish I always tell miss T she did a fantastic job and I’m so proud she did it.
- If you don’t laugh you will cry-Laugh at those fake tears and tantrums because if your having a really shitty day and all you wanna do is cry and scream, just start laughing you might get stared at or yelled at “it’s not funny mum you made me sad” It’s just a shitty day not a shitty life.
- Let it go- “Let it go, let it go anyone else sing frozen then ha ha only me? Ok. I have come to terms with the fact that sometimes my house will be mess and I will have things hanging from my fan, and split milk and cocoa pops everywhere, the baby is still in clothes he had on from two days ago because I honestly couldn’t be fucked getting him dressed or bathed, my daughters hair looks like she has a bird living in it because it’s a shit show trying to brush it everyday let alone wash it. I have last nights dishes in the sink because I was to darn tired to do them- it’s ok to let things go and I find it so hard sometimes to do that it’s such a hard thing to learn but I would choose to have time with my kids and to have them be happy any day.
So what do you think of my approach to better parenting, may not be everyone’s cup of coffee but I’m trying. let me know in the comments below what worked/works well for you guys i would love to hear your parenting wins!
Miss T, hasn’t been the most pleasant little cherub to be around lately. Let me tell you me trying to win an argument against a 3 year old is almost impossible.
I have no idea where she picked up her attitude from, but i wish she would take it back to where she found it.
I get it, she has been an only child for 3 years, and now i have given her a little brother to play with she hates life. For example- Whenever Master G, has any toy, anything i mean it could be a bloody piece of fluff his picked up from the carpet, ITS MISS T’s! she will stomp her foot and say no G its mine, i want it. and if she doesn’t get it she will literally hit him and push him till he cry’s then she will snatch. And now that he is crawling it’s getting worse.
I’ve gone the nice way around this, by saying no we are sharing let G have a turn then its your turn, this is G’s toy he got from Santa for Christmas let him play for a little bit then you can have a go. HA HA yeah right what was i thinking.
We have come to an agreement, that she now plays first then gives G a go. Or she will go and get him another toy to play with, it seems to be slowly working. There is still sometimes a fight but she is getting much better than what she was. I just persisted in what i was doing and saying (trying not to loose my mind).
I’m still thinking i’m going to have to start buying two of everything just to keep the peace!
I will keep you updated on my progress.
I am a dental assistant. Yep that’s right I deal with gross teeth and smelly breath.
I have been a qualified dental assistant for 6 years but have been in the dental field for 10 years!That’s a long arse time. I started working for a small dental surgery when I was 17 years old, I had lost my previous job and A friend hooked me up with this one (thanks Karen I know your reading this)
I’ve done a lot of things whilst working at my current job. From working with multiple dentists to doing reception work- wow this is sounding like a resume.
I have also in that time gotten married and had two kids!
My boss has been a wonderful support throughout my years I’m classified as antique I’ve been there that long as he says ” we will trade you in for parts soon”.
I work with a small group of people it’s like they are extended family members.
Anyhow that’s just a little bit of what I do for work. ☺️
Today i’m going to tell you 50 facts about me! you excited? you should be ya little sticky beaks. kidding enjoy!
- I have a dog and her name is Sweep. (yep from the show sooty and co)
- I love rap music. Give me some Eminem any day.
- My birthday is the 6th of January.
- My favourite TV shows are: Outlander, Riverdale and shameless.
- I believe in paranormal activities.
- But i’m shit scared of horror movies.
- My favourite food is lasagne.
- I’m super bad at math.
- I got married in Las Vegas.
- I have a few nicknames but people mostly call me B.
- I love shopping. (who doesn’t)
- I will cry at anything.
- I have trust issues.
- I wear sunglasses even when its raining.
- I work with teeth!
- I’m a Capricorn.
- I love to sing – But totally cant.
- I really love coffee- but only after having kids ha ha
- I can sew.
- I have really long hair.
- I have two tattoo’s
- My favourite season is spring.
- I love thunder storms.
- My favourite song at the moment is – Home by Michael Buble.
- Half way!!
- I cant dance.
- My favourite colour is purple
- I hate cooking.
- My woman crush is – Mila Kunis.
- I like meeting new people.
- I’m a home body.
- I’m a light weight when i drink i can have 2 drinks and i’m drunk.
- There is nothing like a Macca’s cheeseburger.
- I don’t care what people say about me.
- I appreciate my family and friends so much.
- I’m obsessed with snap chat and Instagram.
- I’m a sucker for a good massage.
- I overthink every situation.
- I put up a fight.
- Money stresses me out.
- I love my job.
- I’m a slight hoarder. (Just figured this out while trying to move house.)
- I am 1 of 3 kids.
- I HATE Spiders!
- I live in thongs no matter what season it is.
- I would love a white Christmas
- I love surprise’s
- I had braces.
- I’m a neat freak.
- THE END!
WOW that was actually really hard to do.
Lets be honest, parenting is such a wonderful blessing i wish i could have 100 babies, my husband would probably kill me, but we all cant resist the new baby smell and their tiny fingers and toes and those adorable little noises they make.My husband and i are completely done having children we are so happy with our perfect pigeon pair, i applaud those mum’s who go back for more than two children you are super mum’s.
However i really wish someone sat me down before having my first and actually told me the in’s and out’s and the true hardcore reality of having children.Having a baby is hard work actually all stages of motherhood are hard.
So here are some of the 10 things i wish i knew before having kids.
- Babies are EXTREMELY loud sleepers- all those cute little noises they make are 10 times louder at night when they are right beside you.
- Be prepared to be living on little to no sleep- yeah your probably thinking babies sleep all the time what is she on about, your little munchkin needs to refuel his or her tum tum over night approximately every 2-3 hrs for round a bout 1hour give or take depending on how quick a drinker your little one is. You would be surprised how quickly your body adapts to the no sleep thing.
- Breastfeeding pads are a must! those things are a god send you do not want to be changing your bed sheets and clothes in the middle of the night from your leaky boobs. FYI- have been there and done that!
- Hormonal changes, when you think all your hormones are done and gone you have had your baby everything is great. Day 3 hits you ( baby blue day) you will probably find yourself crying over an episode of pepper pig. Its totally normal your hormones are all leveling out and lets just say your mind is mush.
- Baby brain is an actual thing!
- Teething is a bitch, when those poor little babes start to teeth its horrible.
- Toilet training – need i say more, you will be cleaning poop and pee to the cows come home.
- Do not compare children, even siblings if John is walking and Mary isn’t its o.k all babies develop differently.
- Mothers instinct, is amazing.
- Unconditional love, until you have had children. Yes of course you love your partner and family but nothing can ever prepare you for the love you will have for your children its emotional, unexplained , exhausting and real.