10 things i wish i knew before having kids.

Lets be honest, parenting is such a wonderful blessing i wish i could have 100 babies, my husband would probably kill me, but we all cant resist the new baby smell and their tiny fingers and toes and those adorable little noises they make.My husband and i are completely done having children we are so happy with our perfect pigeon pair, i applaud those mum’s who go back for more than two children you are super mum’s.

However i really wish someone sat me down before having my first and actually told me the in’s and out’s and the true hardcore reality of having children.Having a baby is hard work actually all stages of motherhood are hard.

So here are some of the 10 things i wish i knew before having kids.

  1. Babies are EXTREMELY loud sleepers- all those cute little noises they make are 10 times louder at night when they are right beside you.
  2. Be prepared to be living on little to no sleep- yeah your probably thinking babies sleep all the time what is she on about, your little munchkin needs to refuel his or her tum tum over night approximately every 2-3 hrs for round a bout 1hour give or take depending on how quick a drinker your little one is. You would be surprised how quickly your body adapts to the no sleep thing.
  3. Breastfeeding pads are a must! those things are a god send you do not want to be changing your bed sheets and clothes in the middle of the night from your leaky boobs. FYI- have been there and done that!
  4. Hormonal changes, when you think all your hormones are done and gone you have had your baby everything is great. Day 3 hits you ( baby blue day) you will probably find yourself crying over an episode of pepper pig. Its totally normal your hormones are all leveling out and lets just say your mind is mush.
  5. Baby brain is an actual thing!
  6. Teething is a bitch, when those poor little babes start to teeth its horrible.
  7. Toilet training – need i say more,  you will be cleaning poop and pee to the cows come home.
  8. Do not compare children, even siblings if John is walking and Mary isn’t its o.k all babies develop differently.
  9. Mothers instinct, is amazing.
  10. Unconditional love, until you have had children. Yes of course you love your partner and family but nothing can ever prepare you for the love you will have for your children its emotional, unexplained , exhausting and real.

B.

I’m back at work.

My first day back at work after having G, was painful.

I cried, like literally Kim Kardashian ugly face crying when i was dropping him off. I was trying to tell the educator how his routine went and i couldn’t help but sob. Bv-BiArIAAAt_3C

I made it into work, and not long after a got a message from his educator saying everything was fine, and he was doing great. I got all my paperwork done in between having about 5 coffee’s because i was struggling to stay awake, not being used to having the computer in my face and paperwork all around me, i found myself sinking into and getting it done.

I thought about G and T all day, could not get them out of my head. I even found myself sharing photos with my colleagues to try and pass the time till i picked them up. I had lunch at home and it was so quite,but at least i got to eat my sandwich at home without sharing with a 3 year old.

I guess you could say i did have a good first day back after having 7 months off. It felt good to have some adult interaction and some time to myself. With the mum guilt still in my head i felt as though i have made a good choice. I mean it is only two days per week.

B.

Fighting mum guilt.

Hey Mumma,

Do you crave for a moment of silence?

Do you find yourself hiding in the pantry away from the all the chaos?

Do you dream of 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep, or a date night with hubby?

Does that give you the mum guilts?

DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!

Running your home, spending your days balancing work and play, making sure the kids are bathed and fed, cleaning up accidents, fixing snacks and meals…. let’s just admit it, it is exhausting. And If you don’t take care of yourself, how can you expect to take care of your family.

I’ve listed below some helpful examples to help beat the mum guilts.

Get some rest!

Mumma’s need to get their rest.  Your body needs rest. Don’t feel guilty if you need to nap. Many mums like me tend to use kiddies nap time to check things off their to-do list, but if you are tired please sleep, it’s so good for your body and your mental health.

I know that for my health and my husbands sanity, he prefers an awake wife not a zombie when he gets home. I don’t usually sleep, but if you do even if it’s for 30 minutes (set your alarm if needed) that little nap will get you through the rest of the day.

You also shouldn’t feel guilty for not having the washing all done or the house picked up just remember it’s just a nap.

Have some me time!

Us Mumma’s need to do things that we enjoy. Try not to feel guilty when you take time for yourself. If you like crafts, blogging, shopping, baking try to make it a priority to get some uninterrupted time to yourself each week. It could be during your little’s nap time/rest time or it could be on the weekend when your husband or a family member is home to watch the children. Taking time for yourself will help you to feel more happier as a mother.

Don’t feel guilty as you hide in the pantry or bathroom nibbling on chocolate or checking Facebook to see what all the “sane” people are doing. It is far better to go into your room and shut the children out and take a breather.

Mum guilt is awful, we feel as if we are being selfish, for needing some me time. And when we do we are thinking of our babies non stop. Being a mum is hard work some days are easy and some days you just can not be bothered the kids are screaming blue murder and climbing the walls and you have hit one square in the nose. Do not feel guilty for asking for help, raising children takes a tribe. I know the mum guilts will always be there, but if we can help ourselves with having some us time, I know our children will thank us for it.

B.

10 EASY tips for toilet training.

I think i speak for all parents when i say “potty training sucks”. You spend countless hours attached to your toddler,taking them to the toilet every 15-30 minutes and cleaning up those yucky mishaps all the while trying to stay positive.

Ask any parent who has been through potty training boot camp. You need a plan of attack and lots and lots of treats,because its stinky,messy and there will be lots of tears.

I have put together a list below on how to survive potty training.

toilettraining

  1. Make sure your child is READY- All to often parents are pressured to get there child potty trained because little jimmy down the road is potty trained and you haven’t even thought of it because you don’t know if your child is ready.Let your child tell you when they are ready. They may show signs of pulling there nappy off, or letting you know when the have gone wee or poo in their nappy. Some kids will even go and sit on the potty themselves.
  2. Get them known to sitting on the potty- Take your child to the toilet and just sit with them and MAKE a big deal about it, kids love praise it encourages them to know that this fantastic.
  3. Make a big deal over it- Like i mean scream and yell and praise them with “YOUR SUCH A BIG GIRL/BOY, you are doing amazing clap hands together, do big high fives, tell them you are so proud and happy. This worked so well with my daughter she loves to hear she is doing great.
  4. Make a reward chart- If you are big on reward charts like me, then this will be so handy for you. Every time they go potty they get to put a sticker on their chart and at the end of the week if they have filled their chart they get a prize. It doesn’t need to be big even if its a lolly pop, your child will be happy.
  5. Make sure you have supplies- You need to be prepared to have accidents and to go through tons of underwear and nappy sand soak. You will also need a potty or a seat that fits onto your toilet this will make it much more comfortable for your child. You will also need to stock up on your lolly pop’s or which ever prize your child will get as a reward for going to the potty.
  6. Training a boy- You could get some male help, either it be an older brother or dad to help teach your boy how to aim into the toilet. I also have heard popping a sticker in your toilet (please wear gloves) to help them with something to aim at works well.
  7. Be patient- This is a big thing, patience is the key to successful potty training. Its not going to happen in a day, it could take months for your child to be fully trained.
  8. Public outings- Make sure they go or try to go before you leave. Have spare clothes id pack maybe 2-3 outfits depending on how long you will be out for. A portable potty works well for long car trips between rest stops. Line your car seat with an absorbent mat kind of like the ones used for puppies. And also remind your child to go, distraction may cause accidents (which sometimes you cannot prevent).
  9. Things may go backwards before going forward- You may be well under way with the potty training and everything is going fantastic, your child is going when they need to and you cant keep up with the reward chart, then BAM they just don’t care anymore they are bored of this potty training business and your back to square one. Accidents will happen,they are learning how to control their body.
  10. Routine- I know my children thrive on routine, in our house we teach the go,wipe,say bye,flush,wash routine. Quite simple, she does her business, she wipes (some help needed) she says bye bye, she flushes then we wash our hands. We let her know that we need to wash our hands because the dirty bugs from the toilet can make us sick.This also is great for when they start kinder or school having this routine in place makes life a lot easier for them.

I hope your found some of these tips handy for when you start to toilet train your child i know some of these have worked wonders for us. Its all about hanging in there and lots of praise. GOOD LUCK.

B.

 

 

Tackling two kids.

I’m going to share my experience and give you some  tips to survive life with a  toddler and a newborn.

So you have your brand new baby, your in complete baby land with all the snuggles and the learning about each other, the skin to skin bonding.Its time for some well needed rest after those 9 long months and birthing your baby. Then reality hits, your husband or partner goes back to work your family member visits get shorter and shorter and your left ALONE! with a new born baby and your toddler. Let me tell you, as i know your asking yourself how am i possibly going to do this, I’m here to help you because i was asking myself the same question. My toddler was demanding and after having my full attention for the last 2 1/2 years she got a reality check that mum’s attention was on a new baby and she felt like she was left out, which i guess she was,but i always found time to spend with her.

HELPING- I found that getting her to help out with nappy changes not only helped her bond with her brother, but also helped me out a lot as well. I would get her to get the nappy and wipes ready for me, we would do the change and she would then put the dirty nappy bag in the bin for me.

She also helped out a few times with bath times i would get her to get the pajamas out for me and a new nappy and also a towel pop it all in the bathroom for me. Once the baby was bathed i would refill the bath and she would hop in,i would dry and dress her brother then wash her and she would play for a little bit.I always found it easier to bath the kids around the same time then its all done and you also save on a little bit of water.

RESTING- For both kids and yourself is very important, so teach your toddler that sleep time for the baby is quite time, if your toddler still has a nap then that’s fantastic for you (lucky thing) my daughter dropped her afternoon sleep when she turned two. So for her quite time is laying on the couch for a bit of TV time or maybe sitting quietly with a book. As the old saying goes “sleep when baby sleeps” well that sometimes doesn’t go to plan when you also have a toddler, My rest time was getting the house in order, even if it was just folding the washing that has been piling up for a few days, most days it even allowed me to spend time with my toddler so she didn’t feel left out. We would do a puzzle, or some colouring even did some baking.

Having a newborn and a toddler at the same time can be trying and rewarding,if you come up with a good schedule  and stick to it, children learn from you so if you help direct and teach your toddler then your days should be a lot smoother and happier for you. Try and get your toddler involved, even if you have to bribe with a reward at least they know they are not feeling left out with this new member showing there gorgeous baby face in their life. Below is a list of things i got my toddler to do.

  • Get new nappies and wipes out for nappy changes.
  • Put dirty nappies in the bin.
  • Help with putting the dirty washing in the washing machine.
  • Help with bath time.
  • Helped with bottle feeding, got to hold the bottle and pat back for burping the baby.

 

Leave a comment below on how you got your toddler to help out with a newborn.

B.

 

 

Having a baby after miscarriage.

Just a warning that this post is going to be long and gets a bit graphic. I’m not writing it for sympathy or to be looked at as a victim. I think there is a misconception that once a woman conceives a baby after miscarriage that her miscarriage is erased and replaced with the joys of this new baby, and that everything just moves forward as it should be. I just want to share my story, when I lost my baby at 8 weeks, it left me with the biggest scar of fear I could ever imagine I thought that I couldn’t move on and get pregnant or have a normal pregnancy.

At the start of last year, Josh and I had decided we wanted another baby so we started “trying”. It didn’t really take us long and after a few months (April) we were pregnant. We were over the moon and so grateful and happy that our family was growing, we were in the talk of building our forever home,life was fantastic our marriage was great and T was a thriving 1 1/2 year old, we had no idea the events that were about to happen.

I booked a doctors appointment, literally the minute after i peed on the “stick” pregnancy test. My appointment rolled around estimated to be around 4 weeks, I had bloods taken and patiently waited for them to return. The woman I’am, I was thinking everything is great I’ve had one successful pregnancy before, I went on my normal day to day routine with good intentions everything was fine. I then had another appointment to get my results from my doctor, my HCG levels were extremely low for how far in my pregnancy I was supposed to be, so my doctor suggested we wait two days and get another blood test.
I was so confused nothing made sense I couldn’t understand why my levels were so low, I kept thinking well maybe I’m just not as far in my pregnancy as I thought.
I had my next set of bloods done and went to see my doctor again and still my levels were low. Your HCG levels are “meant” to double every two days, mine went up maybe 2 or 3 digits. My doctor was concerned so suggested i get an ultrasound to find out what is actually happening.

I booked my ultrasound appointment, in between waiting for that I started to spot blood in my undies, I rang my doctor and he replied with “it’s totally normal for pregnant ladies to sometimes spot or actually bleed throughout their whole pregnancy”. However, I stated googling like a crazy woman all my symptoms and everything I read came up miscarriage, my heart sank. Josh kept reminding me that we don’t know for sure until your ultrasound, he kept me grounded and kept me so calm.

My ultrasound day had arrived, I was 7 weeks along, I was so excited yet so nervous as my bleeding had gotten stronger, the ultrasound tech, put the jelly on my stomach I took a deep breath and exhaled so slowly, I held Josh’s hand tightly, The image came up on the screen and there was nothing there, but a gestational sac (the sac the baby grows in). The tech turned and said to me “go and empty your bladder and we will try an internal. I went to bathroom and my pad was so full of blood, I couldn’t help but just cry as I knew in my heart even before my appointment that something wasn’t right.
I returned and we did the internal and the foetal pole  (baby) was there but had no heartbeat. The ultrasound lady didn’t even have to say it, i knew by the way she looked at me I could see it in her eyes, she then said “I’m so sorry, I’ll leave you guys for a moment stay as long as you need”.
As soon as she walked out I lost it I literally broke down i cried and cried, Josh said the pain in my cry was heartbreaking. We sat for a good half an hour I got dressed and we left. I had to drive myself home which was 30 minutes away as we had come in separate cars. I remember ringing my mum who was patiently waiting for a phone call from me, she answered so happily with “how’d you go!!” I couldn’t get my words out I was crying uncontrollably “my baby didn’t have a heartbeat” to be honest I can’t even remember what my mum said it was all a blur, I had to stop on my way home due to having panic attacks, my doctor called and wanted me to come in straight away to discuss my options on dealing with my miscarriage. He suggested i go naturally instead of a D and C (dilation and curette removal of baby). Now I think of it I would of preferred the D and C.

The days to follow, I never want to experience or wish this on anybody ever, it was traumatizing.
The pain was excruciating, imagine your period but intensified by 100.
I could not get comfortable, I was in and out of the shower with the hot water running on my back, my heat bag was getting a good work out, no painkillers worked at all I mean nothing no pain relief. Josh tried rubbing my back and I was just not having it, I didn’t want to be touched I just wanted him to occupy T while I was going through this as she had no idea why mummy was in so much pain. The look on her face, I didn’t want to her to see all this but we had no one to come and get her and look after her.
I needed to go to the toilet, my body was cleaning itself so of course I needed to poop I remember going to bathroom, I felt so hot that i stripped off naked and laid on the cold bathroom tiled floor, I was screaming in pain, next thing I remember is waking up with Josh saying my name and shaking me, I had passed out from the pain. I hopped back in the shower and that’s when I passed my first clot it was huge about the size of a 50c piece.
I thought that was it my pain started to die down and I could walk and feel somewhat human again. I kept passing clot after clot after clot there was just so much blood. I examined everyone single one of them wondering if that was the baby or if that one was the baby they kept getting bigger and bigger.
After 24 hrs it had all calmed down, the pain had gone and after a long sleep, I was feeling good not mentally but I was able to walk without pain.
My mental state, if I had to describe it; it truly would be that I just had someone close to me pass away like my mum or dad or Josh. I was numb, I felt angry at myself and at my body for not doing what I was made to do.

The next few weeks were a blur of deep sadness like I’ve never experienced before. I told close friends and family about our loss but no one really knew what to say or how to act.
No one really shares their stories. However as woman, carrying a child should be the most natural thing in the world so when you feel like you can’t do that properly, it’s almost embarrassing. I didn’t want to share my story with a lot of people for the simple fact I didn’t want to be sympathized for my body not doing what it was made to do. I have changed my views on that now.

I wanted to share my story with you guys in hopes it makes more women speak about miscarriage and how to not feel ashamed of their bodies. If you’ve survived a miscarriage yourself, I encourage you to speak about your story even with just a close friend. However you feel comfortable. I promise, that is what will help the most. You never know, that person may have gone through the same thing.

I did go on to get pregnant again in that September. And now have my gorgeous rainbow baby G who was born in May of 2017 and he is perfect in every way. My fear throughout his pregnancy was insane my anxiety was so high I lived in fear every time I went to the bathroom because to see blood in my undies would break me. I even brought a pocket doppler machine that the doctors use to hear the baby’s heartbeat and every day, I listened to that tiny heart beat and everyday I was reminded that good things to do happen and they take time. I think of my unborn baby everyday and I imagine what life would be like if we did get to meet him or her and how they would be today I get sad thinking about it and I let myself have that moment because grief is natural.

B.