Kids push buttons and boy do they know how to push the right ones, there are days when i say to myself wow Bianca you have got it going on today no ones yelling at each other the kids are playing nicely -very rare thing in my house, to me if the kids are fed and bathed before 6pm that’s a job well done for me.
However there is a part of me that feels like i could do better, don’t we all think we could do better at something we already do? I lay in bed thinking to myself as my partner snores away like a chaff cutter – did i do enough today? did i play enough with my kids? did i listen to my almost 4 yr old who asks me 1 million questions a day? why did i get so angry when i asked miss T to not do that for the 100th time. Was doing the laundry or cleaning the bathroom more important?
I try and improve myself everyday to strive to be the best parent and wife i can be, I’m learning to try and not get so impatient and angry when things don’t go to plan. I’m learning to be with my kids more and stop worrying about how clean the house is.
So here are my 8 ways to be a better parent which is still a learning progress but I’m hopeful it will pay off in the end.
- Take an adult time out- Kind of like a kiddie time out but for yourself, take just 10 minutes to sit in a quite place and breathe – or eat a block of chocolate my go to choice.
- Put the phone away- I find myself some days glued to my phone, I’m learning to put it away when I’m not needing it, i used to sit on it and Miss T would come and ask me a question to do something and i would find myself ignoring her because i was busy. We are so attached to technology these days that we don’t realize we are actually doing it.
- Pick your battles- My almost 4 year old is the most independent little boss getting around from going to the fridge and getting the milk out to even putting her dinner in the microwave; she always wants to do it. It sometimes becomes a battle when I want to do something to get it done quickly – to when she wants to do it and ten years go by…. I’m learning to pick my battle and just let her do it because she is learning she is independent and I want her to know that.
- Don’t threaten without consequences- How many times a day do you find yourself saying if you don’t stop that I’ll….I used to use this line on Miss T like it was going out of fashion, I found myself not getting anywhere because she knew I wouldn’t go ahead with my threat.My approach now is if you don’t stop doing that I will take that toy away and you can have it back when you are going to listen to mummy. I go ahead and take that toy I actually have a bike sitting on my walk in robe shelf because she didn’t listen to me. At first this was a shit show and she kicked and screamed even tried climbing my shelves to get it. Then she started realizing that I was serious and apologized.
- Have a snuggle party-The best thing I love to do is cuddle my kids. I find my little G man is a snuggle pot more than his big sis but she still enjoys the ole cuddle from Mumma. It does them and you so good and releases that warm fuzzy happy feeling.
- Always say your proud- A big thing in my house is always praising for a job well done- even if it’s something so small like picking up some rubbish I always tell miss T she did a fantastic job and I’m so proud she did it.
- If you don’t laugh you will cry-Laugh at those fake tears and tantrums because if your having a really shitty day and all you wanna do is cry and scream, just start laughing you might get stared at or yelled at “it’s not funny mum you made me sad” It’s just a shitty day not a shitty life.
- Let it go- “Let it go, let it go anyone else sing frozen then ha ha only me? Ok. I have come to terms with the fact that sometimes my house will be mess and I will have things hanging from my fan, and split milk and cocoa pops everywhere, the baby is still in clothes he had on from two days ago because I honestly couldn’t be fucked getting him dressed or bathed, my daughters hair looks like she has a bird living in it because it’s a shit show trying to brush it everyday let alone wash it. I have last nights dishes in the sink because I was to darn tired to do them- it’s ok to let things go and I find it so hard sometimes to do that it’s such a hard thing to learn but I would choose to have time with my kids and to have them be happy any day.
So what do you think of my approach to better parenting, may not be everyone’s cup of coffee but I’m trying. let me know in the comments below what worked/works well for you guys i would love to hear your parenting wins!